A Caregiver’s Journey: Caring for My Mother, Mdm Chang Yin Seoh

A Caregiver's Journey: Caring for My Mother, Mdm Chang Yin Seoh

Introduction

Caring for a loved one battling a severe illness can be emotionally and physically draining. In September 2010, my family faced the daunting news of my mother’s Stage 4 lung cancer diagnosis, with a prognosis of only 8 months. As the eldest son in a family of twelve siblings, including eight elder sisters, one younger brother, and three younger sisters, the responsibility fell heavily on my shoulders. Determined to shield her from the distressing reality, we opted not to disclose the full extent of her illness, instead focusing on providing the best care and support possible.

Caring for My Mother

After my father’s discharge from the hospital, my mother’s care became the family’s primary focus. With her condition worsening, breathlessness became a constant struggle, prompting her admission to the hospital in December 2011. Despite her deteriorating health, we strived to ensure her comfort and quality of life. Palliative care provided by HCA Hospice, along with the support of medical equipment and a comforting environment at home, aimed to alleviate her suffering and provide moments of solace amidst the pain.

Duty Roster and Care Documentation

To ensure round-the-clock care, we established a meticulous duty roster and maintained detailed records of her condition and medication administration. Each family member took on specific responsibilities, ensuring that my mother received the attention and care she deserved throughout her illness.

Duty Roster

Time	Duty Personnel	Remarks
6:00 am - 5:00 pm	Myself	3 unmarried sibilings go to work
7:30 am - 1:00 pm	1st, 6th, 11th sisters, Myself	Prepare breakfast, lunch, medication, washing her, clean her room, changing bed sheet and pillowcase; 11th sister goes to work at 8:30 am
1:00 pm - 5:00 pm	Myself	1st and 6th sister return home
5:00 pm - 6:00 pm	1st and 8th sisters	Prepare dinner
After 6:00 pm	Most of us	I return home at 8:30 pm; cleaning her
8:30 pm - 6:00 am	8th and 12th sisters, Brother

We also created a logbook to record her condition and the time medication was given.

1) Recording of Her Condition

For example:

Date	BP Level	Fever Level	Complaints
1/6/2011	65/100	37.8°C	Itchiness, giddiness, breathlessness, pain

2) Recording of Time And Type Of Medication Given

For example:

Date	Time	Medication	Additional Details
1/6/2011	4:00 am	Panadol	On oxygen condenser
1/6/2011	8:30 am	Morphine	On oxygen condenser and nebulizer

Memories Shared and Lessons Learned

Despite her illness, my mother’s resilience and wisdom continued to shine through. Fond memories of her childhood and valuable lessons on unity and harmony among siblings served as sources of strength and inspiration during challenging times. However, her journey was not without its struggles, as her temperamental nature posed additional challenges for both caregivers and medical professionals.

Facing the Inevitable

As her condition worsened, we grappled with the inevitability of her passing. The emotional turmoil of losing my father and witnessing my mother’s declining health weighed heavily on our hearts. Yet, we remained steadfast in our commitment to providing comfort and support until the very end.

A Final Farewell

In the early hours of January 7, 2012, my mother passed away peacefully, surrounded by loved ones. Despite the pain of losing her, I found solace in the knowledge that she was no longer suffering and that her memory would forever live on in our hearts.

Conclusion

My journey as a caregiver to my mother was both challenging and rewarding, filled with moments of joy, sorrow, and profound growth. Through it all, I remained dedicated to providing her with the love and care she deserved, cherishing every precious moment we shared together. As I reflect on her life and legacy, I am grateful for the invaluable lessons learned and the profound impact she had on shaping the person I am today.

Written by Tan Han Yong, son of Mdm Chang Yin Seoh